Chicken Fried Rice

Yes, we made it, and no it wasnt from a street Chinese vendor.

1. Buy chicken. This is most important. You have to be discreet. Your Jain neighbors can't find out. If they do, good luck. No heaven for you. No Nirvana, no rebirth. You're going straight to hell. So, go at night, when it's dark. Make it look like you're perusing the spices, books, pre-made kurtas. Then eye the eggwalla. Make sure he makes eye contact with you too. Give him a nod. And not the Indian head bob. Rather, "you know what I want" slight-upwards-move-of-the-head nod. He'll know you want more than just eggs. Make sure the chicken is in a black bag. Retreat home, with a confident stride.
2. cut and clean chicken.
3. cook chicken.
4. cut veggies.
5. fry veggies.
6. make rice.
7. put oil in rice.
8. put rice in frying pan. fry rice.
9. mix all together.
10. prepare for salivary satisfaction.